30 things I accomplished, learned and started before 30
I think a lot of us can say that by the time we are 30, we have these goals set out that we hope to accomplish. They are not even goals, more like life milestones. When I was 22, graduating university, I thought I’d be in a certain place at 30. I’d be married, have a kid on the way, maybe have purchased a house, own a dog, have a career set in place, have a life path, maybe a side business on the side. I never thought that maybe I should anticipate these life events at a different time because I had always thought, “Well, your internal clock is ticking, you need to have kids before 30, and certainly before 35 if you hope to be able to have them”. So in turn I needed a solid relationship, marriage and probably a house to have these. I think a lot of people my age have this idea in their heads, although some might be a bit different if you don’t want kids, maybe you wanted to be a director at your company, maybe your goal was to be named Top 40 Under 40. Maybe you wanted to be famous, have come up with a grand invention, maybe you just wanted to be living the life you want, or financially free (not the MLM kind). I think we’ve created this belief system that we’ve failed if we aren’t in the right space before 30, but I think dismantling this belief, accepting wherever you are, you are at the right spot is the key to happiness at this age.
Especially from a young age, we’re taught that you should have your life together at 30, but as I spent the last months of 29, I realize I have none of this, but here is why its okay. I may not be married, but I’m glad I met my partner later in life and had time to grow. I can not imagine being married earlier than now, and I’m glad we met after I traveled, grew as a person and went through large life events. I’m not bashing those who got married before 30, I believe we are all on our own path, and you likely got married when you felt ready, and met the right person. I just wasn’t ready before!
However, I convinced myself that I was in the right relationship before, and made it fit the timeline that I had chosen in my mind. It wasn’t the right one, and I told myself that by 26, I really should be finding someone and settling down ASAP. We talked about getting engaged and I think neither of us really wanted to do it because it wasn’t the right fit, and we were not good together. We forced the relationship for almost 2 and a half years because I wanted to fit this arbitrary timeline in my head, rather than what made sense. Looking back, if we had, I’d be divorced by 30, and that was certainly not what I wanted either.
I find myself at 30 in a job that I don’t know if its my career path. The current state of things has left me unsure whether I’m in a career position or if its a stepping stone. I have a side business that I used to love, but I find my passion for it has faded, and it’s not the ‘passive income’ dream that I had years ago. Maybe what I’m passionate about isn’t web design, and instead its something else. But I shouldn’t force it to be something because some number in my head tells me I should be having a booming side business by now.
I think we focus on what we haven’t accomplished by 30, and instead of that, I’m focusing on what I’ve learned, accomplished, learned or started by the age of 30:
Quit my job and travel the world
Pierce my nose
Be comfortable with being alone
Visit 15 countries
Speak another language (En poco Espanol, een beetje Nederlands)
Get a dog
Move in with someone I love
Make something with my own two hands
Find a hobby I love (embroidery, painting, DIY)
Join a coaching program
Take a road trip by myself
Travel solo (and have the best time!)
Travel with a loved one
Do something that terrifies me (bungee jumping in Costa Rica)
Learn to take care of my health
Cultivate a Meditation practice
Dye my hair Brown (and regret every moment of it)
Take a cooking class (or three)
Express gratitude more often
Sing karaoke
Volunteer with animals
Go to the Olympics
Fall in love
Learn how to stand up paddle-board (and love it so much you buy your own)
Get a tattoo
Go to therapy and find a therapist I click with
Stick to a skincare routine (thank you Tannis) and wear sunscreen every damn day
Invest in myself, my mental well-being and my physical health
Buy myself flowers
Finally realize it’s the Quality vs. Quantity of Friendships